Esther's Blogiary: Cupid, E and Hes

 READ ALL ABOUT IT!: Esther’s Intense Conversation with Cupid. 

Sometime in 2014...

CHARACTERS:

Cupid: Some lil angel, may be myth, said to be in charge of love. Shoots people up and down with arrow so they can fall in love and be at their most dense state.

Esther: Content Writer, sucker for love, believes in commitment, but not exactly adventurous.

*Esther holds back- She’s fearful about falling*

Cupid: Esther, don’t be afraid, just let yourself go, fall…

Esther: That’s what you said the last time I ‘fell’

Cupid: Well d’oh.  Nothing is certain in life.  Risks are inevitable.  And falling in love is a risk.

Esther: So, I should just fall? What if I land bad and my heart gets broken? What if I land alone there sef – like the last time,-which was due to your poor matchmaking skills? It was your fault.

Cupid: Babe I shot you like 5 years ago. You reacted like 3 years later. That ain’t my fault. His love probably wore out before you ‘came to’.  What kind of person are you anyways?

Esther: Well if you hadn’t shot me like 3 times from the last before the last, and then I would have probably recovered and reacted on time to the last shot. Phew!

Cupid: Babe, people fall in out of love like gay dudes change boxer shorts.  You are just a rare creature  puleez*rolls eyes*

Esther: Well, I’m not like that. My heart is not a ping pong ball…

Cupid: But of course, it’s not, it’s a rock. *He spat*

Fall already! Look. I’m not going to waste another arrow of mine on you. I’m only here to give moral support. You just have to let go and stop wondering, thinking and bickering. There are hearts waiting for me.  I have arrows to be shot.

Esther: If you have so much to do then why are you here?

Cupid: *cleans sweat* Kai, it was easier when you were younger.

Esther: Oh, you want to talk about that?

Cupid: Abegiii, you were not just sharp

Esther: Sharp?! May be if you added a little ‘wisdom knowledge and understanding’ to your love medicine then your victims would be in love and alert at the same time.

Cupid: Look at you Esther, you are 30something and you are arguing with cupid. Grow up nah.

Esther: What has age got to do with love? Shuo! Please stay off my matter o, abeg.  Like falling in love is the only important thing. *Esther eyed*

Cupid: The painful part is you argue with me and fight me for a very long time but then you still  fall yakata (real hard).  I can’t wait for that. That’s the fun part. The part where your brain stops functioning and you are on mumu mode.  Mumu mode, remember? You know what I mean...

Esther: *Scoffs* No mumu mode loving anymore, dude.

Cupid:  *Yinmu* Na so you go dey make mouth. You want me to open your files and remind you of the stupid things you’ve done for love?

Esther: Hian! Abegiii *rolls eyes*

******************************************************************************************

After a few more hours

Cupid: You know what? May be I should just give you a shot then, it will save my time. I have spent 5 hours with you and this manual method is not working.  You are just a very slow lover.

Esther: Hian! Don’t ooo. I don’t know him well o. Eh...what if he has a girlfriend?

Cupid: Girlfriend? Who isn’t taken? When last did you meet a guy who isn’t hooked in one way or the other?

Esther: Well…ehn.. I don’t believe that there are no…

While she speaks, cupid sets the arrow with golden tip, aiming at Esther’s chest.

Esther: *Shouts* Hian! Don’t give me the shot oo.  I’m warning you o… I’m not sure yet.  I need to know if he is...

Cupid: *cuts Esther short* Gosh! You are too much of a perfectionist for Pete’s sake and its ruining your love life! Must you know what happens at the end? Why don’t you just take a step first?

Esther leaps on cupid trying to take the bow and arrow from him, in a bid to stop him from giving her a shot.

Then there’s a tussle…

*She Blanks Out*

Esther wakes up, looks down and finds a golden tip arrow sticking out of her chest.

A tear dropped off an eye.

Cupid: I’m sorry Esther.  I shot him with a golden tip arrow already.  I just needed to get you too. Never argue with me, you know you will always lose.  I really do hope this is the last time I use my arrow on you.

Esther is speechless, her entire body reacting to cupid’s golden tip arrow.  She closes her eyes, and sees his face, his name now on her lips...

Cupid looked down at her relaxed figure.  He could tell that now, there are butterflies in her tummy. He smiled to himself, feeling accomplished.

Cupid: *sighs* That went well. Darn feminist!

He strolls away, humming a Whitney Houston tune.

The End

Esther: And what are you laughing at? Yes You! *Msheww*

Disclaimer:  This is a pure work of fiction. I have never met cupid. I have never been shot. If I am in Love..? I just said I have never been shot! Lolz.  Well, maybe probably in late 2014 when E's heart gravitated towards a particular direction. It moonwalked back when it heard 'He' is engaged. Though she never confirmed.